June 1, 2004

Do I Have a Life Apart From Being a Dad?

I thought a lot about that question recently. We made it in from Alabama about 1am yesterday morning, and I’m just now feeling rested up enough to type about it…but with a week’s worth of interesting stuff to write about, where do I start because I know I don’t want to be sitting here for an hour typing. We used to go on vacation to get r and r, those days are gone. Now we go on vacation in order for tp and soc (that’s for taking pictures and showing off Caleb). I’m learning life is not about us anymore. It never should have been about us, but it’s easy to let that happen when you have no one that really needs you. I’m not saying that life should revolve around your child either. I don’t think that is healthy, but when he is so helpless and has so many needs that must be taken care of, you’ve got no choice but to take care of them, right? So I often find myself torn between a life that seems to be focused on Caleb and a life that is diversified with other interests. That’s the main reason I have created the Calebology section, so I can write in my own journal about other things besides Caleb. That’s a line I still cross at times (like this one), but I think I have to be dilligent about having a life apart from Caleb. One day, he will grow up and move out, and when that happens I don’t want to look in the mirror and wonder who I am now that he is gone. Do I have a life apart from Caleb? I’m not quite sure, but I’m working on it.