November 21, 2005

Iron Bowl Hysteria

We’re spending this week with family in Alabama. We made the ten hour drive on Saturday and arrived at my parent’s house at an unthinkable time: right in the middle of the “Iron Bowl.” I fully expected my parents to not even acknowledge our presence until after the game. And you know what? I would have completely understood!

For the un-Alabamian, the Iron Bowl is the annual Alabama-Auburn game. It’s simply the most intense college football rivalries in America.

For three hours that day, everything stops. Roads are empty. The men who get dragged to stores by their wife are all huddled around the TVs in the electronics department.

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll never plan anything on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. That’s a sacred day. This is not just a game. It’s a religion.

Even if you or a family member never attended one of these two schools, you are still expected to pick a side. There are two typical methods for choosing a side:

1. The “born-into” method – You were born into your team. You had no control over which team you chose because it was predetermined for you.

1. The “went-to” method – You went to either Alabama or Auburn.

   I was born into an Alabama family. I have no idea how we came to that decision. No immediate family members attended there. That’s just what we chose. And that’s where we stand. I’m a member of a “born-into” family.Being in a “born-into” family, it would socially acceptable for me to cross-over to the Auburn side only if an immediate family member attended.

   My wife is both a “born-into” and a “went-to.” She was born into the family because her mom and dad went to Auburn, but she also went to Auburn herself. A went-to fan can’t change their sides for any reason, not that they would ever want to.

   There is some conflict between us on the Iron Bowl day, but we’re not hysterical about it. Living in Texas for the past several years means that we’ve been somewhat removed from the Iron Bowl hysteria because we’ve been living in Texas, where they try to tell us that the Texas-Texas A&M game or the Texas-Oklahoma games are the top rivalries. We know they are wrong though. When it comes to college football, no game tops the Iron Bowl.

   So what was the outcome of us arriving during the Iron Bowl?Turns out, my parents care more about seeing their grandkid than the football game. Maybe that’s because the game wasn’t very close. Auburn took an early 21 point lead in the first quarter, and my dad had already mentally turned off the game. He was out in the field dove hunting when we arrived.

   I don’t even want to talk about the game. Tiffany wouldn’t mind discussing it though.