February 3, 2010

Marriage and Grace

As a Christ follower, I believe what the Bible says is true. I believe that the God-man Jesus lived perfectly and gave his life for my sin. And because he did, in God’s eyes, I am a holy, righteous saint, just as Jesus is. But to my dismay, my personal experience is often in conflict with this truth.

"Grace makes beauty
out of ugly things
Grace finds beauty
in everything
Grace finds goodness
in everything”
- Grace by U2

Take this morning for instance—remember, I’ve already written on the topic of marriage for about four weeks in a row—I spoke rudely to my sweet wife. I was tired. I was frustrated about something that I don’t even remember. She was sitting at the table eating breakfast, and I acted like a hypocritical jerk. That may not be who I am in God’s eyes, but that is how I acted today. She’s hardly comforted by “new life” in Christ when I’m acting selfish.

I love to dwell on God’s grace, but I got to thinking: grace is not just a pie-in-the-sky activity reserved for God. I need His grace, no doubt about it. But I also need grace from the people in my life, especially my wife, and she needs grace from me. We both need to know that we are safe with each other. We need to know that our spouse is not keeping a record of our wrongs.

For a marriage to thrive, there must be an abundance of grace, because even the most Christlike among us expends a great amount of energy being self-absorbed and narcissistic. I’m thankful that Tiffany is a woman of grace, and I’m sad that she has to dish it out as often as she does.

And without grace, your marriage will feel lifeless.