September 17, 2008

My Dad

Today would be my dad’s 50th birthday. He passed away seven years ago, but the day still does not go unnoticed.

My dad, David, was hilarious. He had a corny sense of humor that embarrassed me more times than I can count. He used the same one liners over and over and over. For example, any time one of us would order chicken fingers he would say, “I didn’t know a chicken had fingers”. No matter how many times he had used the joke he would laugh as if it were brand new, and I would roll my eyes. Now I already see the same corny humor in Caleb’s jokes.

My dad drove this car he named “Black Magic”. It was an old Monte Carlo that had seen better days. Oh how I dreaded being dropped off at our private school in that car. I have this vivid memory of dad getting out to put gas in Black Magic but forgetting to put the car in park. I can still see him dragging beside the car trying to reach the brake. My sister was in the front seat, and of course my best friend was in the car beside me. I thought I would die of embarrassment. Once on the way to school green goo (antifreeze) started pouring down under the glove box all over my backpack. I spent the rest of the day cursing Black Magic as I carried around the dirty backpack. What I would give today for a ride beside my dad in Black Magic.

My dad loved country music. I thought I was “too sophiscated” to listen to country music. The low point was when he took me to a Hank Williams, Jr., concert. I have never been more miserable. It seemed like my dad and I were the only two sober people there.

The other morning Andy had a country song on in the house when I started singing. He looked at me surprised. I suggested he download “Digging up Bones” by Randy Travis. It was one of dad’s favorites. It’s amazing how a song can take you back so many years. I couldn’t help but smile and cry as I was overcome with happy memories of my dad.

I’ve never written here about my dad before. He died unexpectedly, and it took years before I could remember the happy memories. I spent many years being angry and dwelling on his death. I had always heard the phrase “time heals”, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Over time anger creates bitterness. Only God brings healing, and that’s where I am today. The verses from Isaiah 43:18-19 helped me as I let go of anger and bitterness:

“Forget the former things;
Don’t dwell in the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up;
Do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

That’s my story. God brought healing into what had become a wasteland and desert in my life. I still miss him of course. I think about what an amazing granddad he would be. I remember when he picked Andy and I up from the airport after our honeymoon. He looked at us and said, “The wedding was great, but now I’m ready for grandchildren!”. Our children may not know him, but they will always know of him from stories we tell.

Today I’ll honor his memory by eating my weight in French Onion dip and chips (one of his favorite foods) and maybe an oatmeal pie too. I’m thankful I had him as my dad.