July 11, 2009

Rules Without Relationship

We’ve been introducing our oldest son Caleb (almost six years old) to some of the classic games that we enjoyed as a kids. On one of these occasions, we brought out a deck of Uno cards. It’s an easy game to learn, and after a few hands, he really started getting the hang of it. And like his old man, he started getting ultra-competitive.

After one of the hands where I won, I walked out of the room to do something (I can’t remember what). I was gone for a few minutes and when I returned, he had dealt the cards, and was ready to start the next hand. Almost immediately, he played three black “Draw Four” cards. For those of you who are sadly unaware of the card game Uno, that’s the most powerful wild-card in the game.

I suspected a little hornswoggling, and after questioning him further, he admitted to stacking his hand with wild-cards, which followed by a discussion about why games and sports have to have rules, why cheating is wrong, and how his friends wouldn’t want to play with him if he continued to cheat.

I hope he learned his lesson. We’ve since played lots of highly competitive Uno games, and have had lots of fun doing it precisely because we played by the rules. The rules are there to give the game boundaries and make it more fun, not less fun.

Rules. I suspect that many people avoid giving God access to their heart because they believe He’s only concerned with us following his system of rules. They see Him as a party pooper, a killjoy, a wet blanket. They believe His job was to create the rules and then patrol around waiting for us to break them so He can snatch us back in line. That’s too bad. God isn’t like that at all. He desires a relationship with us because he loves us. He doesn’t arbitrarily make rules to keep us busy or prevent us from enjoying life. His rules protect us, protect others, and provide the framework for us to enjoy life even more.

Don’t get me wrong. Rules are necessary, but rules without relationship can lead to frustration and rebellion. If your view of God is a strict prison guard whose main job is delivering the code of conduct in black and white, then more than likely, you’ll eventually decide to throw in the towel because that spiritual system is all guilt and zero joy.

On the other hand, our Heavenly Father wants us relating to him and making decisions based on our love and admiration for Him, not out of our feelings of obligation. Rules without Relationship…our Father doesn’t play that game!

This entry was also posted here on the Lifetime Blog.