July 8, 2008

Toy Fast

Caleb has been a very easy child when it comes to behavior. He’s Type-A like me and does well with rules, routine, and structure. Still, children go through phases, and Caleb is just coming out of a bad one. It had to do with a lack of appreciation and a sense of entitlement. This is, of course, a struggle no matter how old you are.

It all started like this…

Caleb had been wandering the house aimlessly telling me he just didn’t know what to do. He was bored and wouldn’t play alone. Toys are everywhere, and yet he had nothing to do. He starts asking over and over, “Can I watch a movie? Can I watch a movie?”

We rarely allow more two hours of TV a week, so usually the answer was no when he wanted to see a show. Somewhere, his creativity and imagination had disappeared. Andy and I knew we needed to nip that in the bud.

The final straw was when Caleb looked at me and said, “The reason I don’t really play with my toys is that I just don’t like them anymore.” I quietly left the room and came back a minute later with my laundry basket. I started piling up all the toys in the basket. Caleb started getting nervous. He wanted to know what I was doing. I told him that if he didn’t like his toys some other boy without toys would love to have them.

Over the next two hours I removed every toy from the house, dumped them in the guest room, and closed the door. I let him keep his blanket, stuffed animal, books, and one toy of his choosing. I did tell him that those could be removed without notice if his attitude didn’t improve. There were lots of tears.

Day one. Caleb spent the day playing with Andrew’s baby toys.

Day two. Caleb played with my vacuum cleaner. My floors were never cleaner. Each day he got more and more creative and fun. It was working, but we wanted to make sure we didn’t let up too soon.

That was a week ago. Today his attitude is back to normal, and he seems much more appreciative of the things we do, food we eat, and toys we have. Today we sorted all of the toys in three piles (donate, put away for Andrew, and earn back). He was almost giddy at the thought of getting toys back.

Sometimes we find ourselves looking around at all the new houses with the “From the low 800s” sign out front and struggle with contentment ourselves. We have to be vigilant. Our fear is raising kids that have a sense of entitlement. We live in an affluent area where teenagers drive nicer cars and talk on better cell phones than we do. That won’t be our kids, so we need to start now.